OK, Buster, write this down carefully...

It's P-I-C-C- there's two 'Cs' in it-O-L-O, badge number 714. No, you don't need an appointment to see the chief, just bust right in on there...Bring the ticket with you.

You don't like it?

Why don't you call the police?

First Class Scout, huh?

Pretty neat. Stick with it and see if ya can make Eagle, Watch this, Kid. Haters gotta hate....Hey, Sweeney! Remember how you were runnin your mouth about the Muslims? Well guess what?...I just had a word with the Iman down at the mosque and when your church stopped sponserin' Troop 396, guess who took up the slack?...Yup, the mosque.

Someone told me you

needed a letter of recommendation for that scholarship. No problem...No, I'm not going to write it...OK maybe I am, but you can bet your ass I'll get the chief to sign it...You don't WANT the chief to sign it?...Yes, Tommy, I would be PROUD to sign it myself. Thank you. You make me proud to be a cop.

Nah. It all seems to come out in the wash over time.

All I do for a living is make sure people don't kill each other off before it does.

Seems you've smartened up, kid.

Thank God for small miracles...Community College, huh?...Finally got yourself a plan, Kid and I'm glad to hear it...Ya know, I can't picture you behind a desk either, but I'd bet you'll make one hell of a plumber!

No, it wasn't the shootout

during the robbery last year.... If you promise not to laugh, I will tell you the scariest moment I've ever had being a cop... You have to promise... Ok, you promised not to laugh... It was the time I had to break up a catfight between Thelma Lou Rogers and Louise Debrosko. It scared the holy living hell out of me!